saya ingat lagi saya marah faiq conteng dinding dari situ dia tahu berexpressi marah

Memang dia pun tunjuk kemarahannya baru nak masuk setahun macam tu. Risaunya.. bila dia marah kalau saya macam tak takut ke apa dia akan tunjuk dinding tu lepas hentak-hentak pen atau mainan dia tunjuk buku atau kertas. Tapi saya ni memang ada baran. Membesar faiq saya control dan atasi kelemahan itu. Catatan hari ini, thanks for reading, sayang selalu dari Fair

saya doakan fadya faham untuk duduk diam bila kami makan

Macam-macam dimintanya waktu kami mula makan. Cakap elok-elok, sekejap ja dia duduk, bagi tablet, dia tengok berapa minit ja. Lepas tu tah fikirannya nak apa tah la. Macam Faiq pun sama masa 3 - 4 tahun. Sekarang dah memahami. Tapi hari ni saya marah Fadya, kenapa tak nak duduk tadi, dia cakap dia aiskrim  Ehhh saya dah tanya sebelum duduk lagi nak aiskrim ke tak, dia cakap tak mahu sebab nanti dia batuk dia cajao sambil berlakun batuk. Saya bising lagi esok tak boleh ikut lagi. Kalau nak ikut kena duduk, janji. Fadya cakap janji

saya biasa fikir kebahagiaan semua tetapi kakak ingatkan utamakan suami

Dari situ banyak saya ikut suami. Ringan fikiran bila fikirkan suami ni. Tetapi buat tetap kerana Allah. Biasa emak akan suggest apa apa, emak akan terus sebut tanya abeang dulu. Nak tergelak la juga bila sebut abeang kok ni. Syukur dapat suami yang ikut saya jugak. Tentang anak-anak pun, ikut cara suami jugak. Mudah lagi. Contoh nak keluar ke KL, emak bapa suka makan,  jalan makan lagi, jadi kami ambik masa yang pendik untuk duduk sebab budak budak akan bosan. Parenting ni sebagai ibubapa ada authority untuk suruh budak ikut ja tapi high warm  iaitu berlembut dengan anak tu ialah dengar pendapat anak jugak. Bila tanya kenapa, anak akan jawab dah makan. Kena lah kita hormat pendapatnya juga. Hari ni memang teringatkan blogger kak zakie, penggunaan bahasa beliau lembut. Rindu beliau. Ok nak bersiap untuk makan tengahari.

Ini lah jantung hati saya, jiwa raga kami. Dah besar pun. Taoi ada ragan masing masing, Faiq lebih memahami. Moga hidup lebih bersinar, dari saya Fair.

saya nampak tenang, pendiam kerana saya berdoa di dalam hati

Jika ada yg menegur contoh anak saya, saya tetap abiskan ayat doa dulu walaupun saya memandang wajahnya dan senyum. Bila hujung tahun begini terasa ingin berblog kembali sebab masa terluang dan lebih bersantai melalui rutin harian. Sekarang ni pun masih belum tido, cuma terlantar di atas katil memikirkan tajuk blog untuk dijadikan buku catitan kehidupan harian. Pilih gmail yang lama terjumpa blog ini. Tak sangka ada blog tentang hati ini. Masih tertanya bahasa apa patut saya guna english atau bahasa. Teringat pernah buat tajuk assignment "keep poise to make a choice". Patut dengan perasaan yang tenang, berfikiran apa manfaatnya untuk membuat pilihan itu. Ok dah nak tido. Selamat malam, moga lebih ceria dari saya Fai.

i have experience that moves me to exactly that I want to own

Early on I wanted so much to have a business to develop income in my pocket, but I got busyness that I could not attend to anything even to snap photos of my activities at that time. I chose cupcakes as products and I produced them myself, the productions become heavy took my energy for the right things, people and activities.

I tried even open a kiosk at Tesco, Mutiara Damansara, I got the supporters were my family, my mom came and bought many. It was fun but it is easy as I sell food and people come to us, we do not have to say please come and try and all, but off course they asked a lot of questions.

The income that was my aim, not the busyness that get me so occupied til no time for others.

My hubby encourages activities that he can be part of it not like me spending in the kitchen when he is around. That awakes me too, so even blogging I get him involve like reading or get some ideas what to blog.

He likes if i told jokes about my dad because my dad is a spontanneous jovial person.

"One example is i baked cupcakes took sometimes to finish one batch yet it is not healthy but it is a happy moment to eat it. But my dad said "ala the easy way is to put two piece of daun or leaves (salad), apply mayonaise and add shrimps and ready to eat,  semua ni trick ja, charge dekat RM20/-"

I think it is so true and funny too. I pray for income not extra coming moves to fill my time so i start saving with the money that I tend to buy flour, sugar and etc :)

I praised the Prophet saw to get me a pleasant moment and I am very pleased

 Fadya's brother steals the limelight and blow off the candle

To give birth to my lovely daughter Fadya who was born 12 Jan 2012. Praising Prophet made it easier for me to go out of a painless and uncomfortable situation to give birth to a beautiful baby girl. Alhamdulillah. It was planned birth date but it was the due date that nobody knew but me, that was very uncomfortable and slow preparation from the hospital. I was due but the thing was the nurses thought it was a plan and could take it slow that was challenging for me. I praised the Prophet with my heart that I could go through this. My lips kept praising, my heart consoling me that a human could make it and meant to make it like the prophet too. Getting done with it it was not easy as it was not in our hand to push others to make the progress fast but only with doa. I got calmed with the doas and praising to let the time came fast for me to go through the waiting time that  I anxiously waited for 9 months and to comfort myself by praising to SAW just for few minutes or hours it did not matter as long as my baby and me would be safe. Exhausted, excited and I asked from Allah to redha for me to Enjoy the gift He granted to me.

Last week we celebrated Fadya 2nd birthday. It was ad-hoc gift from my sister and my brother which hosted by my nephew, the dinner was meant for brother who is posting to San Jose for a new job, so it was a See you later dinner plus a small cake to mark the birthday for dearest Fadya. I love you and everybody loves you, sayang mama ni.

I have a blessed 2014 as I feel it and take easy with it

Though it was the first week of school and I was figuring out how to make Faiq back into the system of a school schedule and mood. I bumped with a new teacher and told me that Faiq is kind of different kid, he walked around with food in hand. He showed that he knew what he's learning.

The teacher said she wants my permission or green light for her to raise her voice with Faiq. If the next day Faiq hesitates to go to school I have to explain it to him that the teacher scolded him because...

I spoke to teacher that the teacher need to get him into the school or learning environment or atmosphere as this is the first week of school. I told the teacher make it clear to him that he needs to sit while eating and let him know that his peers are doing the same.

As I recalled I send Faiq to school is first to get him to have peers for him to learn from. I believe kids learn from friend of their age. So since school holiday, I also took leisure off thinking of school, I got panicked too.

So the teacher said ok for us to get him to school first then only get him interested in sitting down to learn not stray to explore during class.

I feel and focus of what I will fascinate about this is to get Faiq most improved student this year of 2014.

InshaAllah,
Fair

I started by cleaning the porch floor and sweep it clear and find act of gratefulness having a shelter...

Yesterday was Maulidur Rasul birthday, we woke up and went out to have breakfast and stopped at plants nursery and get some plants and soil for my green fresh environment project. We went for groceries as well as we planned to stay indoor and relax. Instead, I was grouping the recycle stuff to papers, plastic and cans categories, after I have done that, the best feeling I ever feel clean and empty space and wide view in the house.

I leave the stacks outside and ready to weigh them and trade them with MONEY.

I was thinking to have frequently going to overseas, this is I want to do since my brother is moving to San Francisco. I figure out the lowest airfare to search around. This is another to make it work and real too.

Alhamdulillah, Faiq was happy to school, when he met his teacher, he told about cockcroach he saw and the porch. My hubby did pest control DIY now, before we have Rectokil  to do is for us.

I leave my dad's photo here, I love him dearly.

kindness from,
Fair

I changed the blog's name from Journey of a Pscyhologist to An Author is because I expect my audience to become readers..

and also the movie Up made the move too, until the many times I watched it, it captured my heart. Faiq loves the movie so much, he even acted like the Russel while watching him. I wished I could filming him, he looked so cute trying to walk and talk like Russel.

Yes I have an adventure to talk about, its all started in morning to get Faiq to school. Then having me for breakfast.

My thoughts run fast about making money, it is from recycling to making plants in jars. I have yet to convert it into action. Just browsed the waterproof stickers for glass jars and bottles. Just thought of putting recycles stuff in the clear plastic bags and bring them to the recycling lot for weighing and getting MONEY.

The clock ticks at 11:39am and must get ready to fetch Faiq and have lunch.

Mild adventure to venture and leaving her adventure break photo at USS.

Love,
Fair

I earn a lifetime skill that generates income

I baked 4 cupcakes in four days in a row. I assumed this activities will generate income for our family.

On last Friday, I started with orange cupcake, I have the pictures taken in my phone, guess will posted her soon. My husband said it is good, but I find it so sweet on the cream. After orange cupcake, I have baked kiwi cupcakes, that is the perfect cake I have baked. Mild sweet cream with kiwi chopped on top. 

I became addicted with baking because it is so easy, I decided with strawberry since my husband bought it with kiwi fruit on the same day, so just to make sure it is as fresh I baked strawberry right after. I and husband just tasted a bite each because we know there are more coming for us to taste.

Way in the beginning I planned to baked raisins cupcake because my kids love raisins, though I am more interested in fresh fruit based first. I have made it the raisins cupcakes, but they pulled out the raisins and ate and left the cake behind.

On my mind I have been thinking to bake lemon cake because it sounds so fresh, but I know that lemon lasts longer so I leave it there til yesterday, Wednesday, baked them 12 or 13 cups. I told Faiq's teacher that I started learning to bake cupcake and promised her to bring the cupcakes for the teachers to taste. I did it yesterday, then I have got the message that the cake was so good, the frosting got lemon taste, the butter is tasteful, the cake is moist with mild lemon taste, smell nice too with the bites of zest

. sweets

I have never thought that I could bake cakes, I am glad I have tried, from this activities, I know it will generate income and I with my husband will have more leisure time.

"I am cheered coz I let myself to"

I know I blog about my morning most but its kind spontaneous feeling though I have called hubby and mom to share the story already. I am cheered by a beautiful cheerleader. She is only five years old, her name is Dania. She is helpful and care for Faiq at school. She would say "Hi Sheikh" and kiss him on the cheek sometime, even Yuen Shen did that too but Dania took and carried Faiq's bag to the class, see how thoughtful is Dania for Faiq.

Today at the car after Faiq went in, teacher Fariza told me that Dania wore scarf yesterday. The teacher asked her why all of a sudden she wears scarf, she answered "I want to become like Faiq's mom". How sweet and touched me in the heart. The the teacher continues that I have an admirer that all never thought. I feel embarrassed but say my scarf a little longer now because today I put on like Sophia Loren in convertible car and the teacher smile said sweet too.

I like to find Dania's photos if I have in school's album. Dania is a beautiful girl, I think I ever told her that.

Wassalam with love,
Fair

 

the kind of scarf that need to improve

"I shrugged but thankful"

The teacher asked whether I see any different today and know why that Faiq is happy and excited today. I asked why as in my heart I prayed hard to make the morning as easy as can be but  the teacher said because the "kid" did not come yesterday and told me that they talked to the headteacher and she said nobody wants to play with the kid but Faiq is kind of friendly with him.
I continue about the matter just to kill two birds with one stone or to have a matter solved by saying again to the teacher, I told Faiq to play near and around the teacher as the teacher could see him and observe him amongst the kids.

Actually, today I wanted to write about my cousin Sara Ahmad because right after I have learnt about the school's stories yesterday, I wanted to share it out with her. She is a positive person I know I will get a positive vibes from her. She inspires me with her activities with her kids and her smiles brighten all. Since it was already working hours, I have not yet do as thought. All about her I follow direct from herself or at her active blog thatcutelittleones.blogspot.com

Me and lovely her

"I pray yuhibbu nahum kahub billah on behalf of my kid"

The morning start was smooth but at school Faiq showed reluctancy. I asked the teacher "how" like sharing the matter with her, what she would know the solution. I told may be Faiq's bored of getting in the car because we have been road travelling since he was born yet he still follow this morning.

It was easy to get him dressed this morning I told her. He even had breakfast. Then the teacher looked concerned. I told her it is okay and spontaneously asked her to help me pick Faiq's bag up as I get him to the door by force, because when I prolong talking infront of him, then I do not how that would affect him.

At the door, another teacher welcmed him, I leave him there and went down straight to car, then the teacher told me to talk to his class teacher. I said to her never mind as he is fine, Godwill.

But three of them, the teachers of different classes came at my car window and told stories, that a trouble maker kid disturbs the class, Faiq being pushed by him, the mother complained about the teachers and about her son was not taken care of and infact warned them would make a police report if never change.

They asked me to talk to the headmitress, I said I pray first and will speak to Faiq to play around teachers and be near teacher always because he is a small, the teacher will protect him.

And i looked at his class teacher and asking her supports because Faiq's 3 year old and this is his journey that is he is lucky enough to face it with caring and loving teachers around that I am grateful for, I told them.

The teacher said Faiq is clever and knows most everything whats being taught. In the heart I thank to the Creator.

"I lift up my butt to let my kids have an evening outdoor feel"

I just got to do it with my kids and hubby to taste evening sun. After evening prayer, I get Fadya for refreshen up and my son too. Fix milk-to-go and buckle them in the car. We arrived at my hubby's office and decided to to go to small cafe as my kids love speghetti.

Suddenly it was raining, we make doas as always.

It was peaceful early dinner we had. Some outdoor feeling, sipping coffee for hubby while I had orange jjuice.

I cite Ya Lateef from the beginning to have ease and peace

From yesterday, I determine not to have any extra matter to attend to for instant like Faiq wants to stay in the car instead getting down into the school so I cited "Ya Lateef" which is I remember only that two words a special friend of mind told me to cite to our kids before going to sleep. In fact I was there when she said to her daughter goodnight and sweet dreams but her daughter came back and ask her to cite duas at her crown head, then the mother said she has a friend who is me with her now and continue asking her daughter try to sleep first then she will come later and doa.

So I cite from yesterday while doing anything to something, and today I realise it was easy in the beginning but in the Faiq said "I want to see papa". I simply reply 'but we are late already". It happened like this before I fulfill his request since my hubby's office is just before his school. He met papa and went to school happily.

But today I did not do that, I sent him, I did not talk much. More action this time, it was ok til at the school's door. Then he was calm, I went to the car and talk to one of  his friend's mother who is a teacher said it is okay to force which is the only way I had.

I went back to the teacher and gave his milk, I just did not want to waste it, and saw he's in the assembly. Alhamdulillah, I have made it to be more like rule maker and managed to make him obey and hope he knows I and him did the right thing today.


I search the meaning of Ya Lateef at  Deenislam.co.uk  Powerful Dua Wird --Ya Lateef - O Gentle
-Ya Lateef /Ya Latif - O Gentle / Subtle

Allah is gentle with His servants. he provides for whom He wills, and he is the Strong the Mighty.
Allahu Latifun bi 'ibadihi, yarzuqu man yasha'u, wa huwa l'-Qawiyyu l-'Aziz

From His beautiful and excellent Names is (Ya Lateef -O Gentle) Al-lateef: the meaning is the Ever-Discreetly Gentle, most affectionate, the knower of all sublities, The Subtle One, The Gracious, The One who is kind to His slaves and endows upon them, Most affectionate or knower of innermost secrets. He is the most delicate, fine, gentle, beautiful one. He is the one who knows the finest details of beauty. The finest of His beauties are hidden in the secrets of the beauties of the soul, wisdom, and divine light.

Subtle/Gentle: (1) so slight as to be difficult to detect or analyze, (2) operating in a hidden way [American Heritage Dictonary, 3rd Edition]. Latif: in the Arabic language: (1) the One who gives us our wants in a subtle way, (2) the One who does not wrong his servants even a little bit, (3) the One who shows grace to His creation by giving them their needs with gentleness and subtlety, (4) the One who knows the hidden delicacies of affairs [Fayruzabadi, The Encompassing Dictionary].

Whoever reads this Name Ya Lateef daily, Allah will grant abundance in his rizq (sustenance) and cause all his tasks to be accomplished without difficulties.

It is the noble attribute of Allah that saves one from poverty, misery, sickness, loneliness or any adversity, for Allah will surely grant him deliverance – Insha-Allah. ( For the one that has the ‘Ijaza-permission to recite Ya Lateef which is part of our daily Wird in our Tariqah )

( the hint is that the word lateef reminds you of lutf.. and basically ‘lutf in food’ ..like the pleasure in eating. So, rizq is easy to remember and others (poverty, misery & sickness) are non-lutf stuff)

"I make sure his basic needs fulfilled in the morning and yet still something to figure in"

After he wakes up in the morning, I assume he wants milk or bath straight a way. Then, a quick dry and put on clothes. Make him sit and give him a slice of bread. Then I get ready and make him see me going then I said lets go.

He prefers slippers or his normal shoes than his school shoes. I let him. Then I said to him to climb in his car seat. Buckle him. Give him choice to have milk, water or bread.

On the way he would show me trucks, busses of tractors. Or else power line or playground.

He also sings along Islamic musics "Bismillah Alhamdulillah".

Sometime it is easy for him to get down from the car to go in the school. Sometimes its hard and I wonder why and need to figure it out.

On his first few weeks in school

"I make milo for two because sipping hot drink is still soothing for adult like me"

After dinner, watching tv is my next favorite thing to do. It is a long way to reach to our tv area as the dishes are need to be cleaned first, the table to be cleared before. I separate the leftover food in small plastic and sometimes they are transit in fridge or else straight in the dustbin.

My better half helps along if the kids do not need any attention. I fix their milk and fix me and hubby a cup each of milo. I fix milo on the kitchen cabinet where i put four jars filled with sugar, anlene milk powder, oats and milo separately. Its convenient for us to have a quick drinks nightly.

Sometimes if time permits, I get to sit on a sofa in the living room and enjoy the simple decor that we did.

-Dinner at the nook when the maid not around-

The decor observation takes very short time because I pray at the end of the schedule and bring milo for two up and have it after overslept while waiting for the kids asleep as my son goes to bed at 9pm and sleep after two bottles of milk. 

-The trial position living room -

"The cold milo warm the night and give' good night sleep".

I would like to express my gratitude to my aunt who made milo for her kids before bed which I do now for myself and hubby. i would love to pay her a visit for this coming haj celeb.

"A kiss that wakes me and a kiss leaves me all alone to fill my morning"

But the morning prayers energize me and the prayers keep me going. After I folded my prayer mat, I open our bedroom windows' curtains with gratefulness how the beautiful views I see it every morning. Sometimes it crosses in my mind whether will I get a better view next or at the same time or both. Just some thoughts to have more of the world when I look at the sky and the trees' line that separate the earth near me.

I tied curtains in the middle like tying a girl's long hair with the curtain pins. I find it so nice and cozy with the plain curtains that flow down nicely and moves when the wind blows in.

Not long I had to turn to the messed bed and leave the relax view behind and quick thinking where and how should I start again my morning...

It takes a fast decision to make at that point whether to make the bed or make the milk for the kids...

1. Fix milk for kids
2. Make the bed to wake the kids up
3. Pull the son's pants first
4. Walk with the kids to the bathroom
5. Give him tooth paste and the brush
6. Bathe him while he brushes teeth
7. Towel
8. Let him put on his clothes or uniforms by himself
9. Let him sit and give him Gardenia raisins bread

Then his sister's turn, repeat the same thing with less talking for them to focus on doing.
But no.9. Give her a bottle of milk.

While I get dress up and grab my bag and fill the school bag with 1 set of clothes, small towel and brunch box and water bottle.

Call them down, carry Fadya down straight to the car and faiq walked himself to the car. But he stops for insects or bugs at the porch. And say "look mama, ants. Then i would "how many? Or what colour?".

Once they are in the car, I buckle them up in the car seats. Give the milk to faiq as fadya's sticks at her.

Switch on the Yusuf Islam compilation, the kids love the songs even sing along.

If we arrive early, faiq's teacher would be there to greet him with a pleasant smile that cheered sheikh the name they call faiq.

I thank God for at least a quarter of my day had done, sometimes end up breakfast out with my loving husband and lovely daughter Fadya. Lucky me and love it so much when that happens. I know the rest of the day would be better til night and the next.

Fadya at breakie time

View from the window

I would like to thank my best friend Mrs Lyna Osman for getting me back of my blog for her encouragement and reminder In our conversation this afternoon. Thanks and lots of love, Fair